Hopes for 2012

I’m hoping the year 2012 will be a good year of expanding human rights for all.

I’m hoping that Muslims in America will finally be accepted instead of being feared. With this story, however my hopes will probably be short lived.

I’m hoping that we put end to these so-called “end of men” narratives and explore ways to navigate the changing gender roles.

I’m hoping that protests such as Occupy Wall Street encourages other

I hope that gays/lesbians/bisexuals/transgender individuals will be recognized.

I hope developing countries don’t fall victim to an economic crises.

I hope women in Saudi Arabia will finally earn their right to drive and other rights.

I hope the media learns to stop focusing on Muslim women’s choices to wear the hijab or niqab.

I’m hoping that I can get into Bollywood movies more. I really mean that.

I hope the West learns from its financial and economical mistakes.

I hope we finally recognize that college education shouldn’t only be about getting a job.

I’m hoping that more awareness will be raised about maternal mortality.

I hope that people finally learn not to base their opinions on stereotypes.

I hope that I finally learn how to make samosas.

What are your hopes for 2012?

What’s oppressive to one woman, may be empowering for another.

Hello to those who’ve been reading my blog, I’m back after a long hiatus. It wasn’t my intention to neglect it for this long.

I have new commitments these days and my schedule is becoming a little hectic, not to mention the fact that I haven’t had much to write about. But now I do.

In the few years of identifying as a feminist (now global feminist) I’ve been reading some fascinating discussions happening within the feminist blogesphere. If you spend enough time within it, you’ll see that feminists hold many different views about women’s issues and how we can achieve equality. In the end, one view that feminists share in common is the belief that women are oppressed and are second class citizens.

The thing about that is there are also different views about what’s oppressive to women. That’s where all the diversity and division comes into play.

For example wearing make up and dressing in a feminine manner is an on going debate for many feminists. Some feminists discuss how wearing make up is part of living in a patriarchal society. A society that expects women to make themselves attractive for men. Thus, that’s where the stereotype of feminists being “unfeminine” comes from. This is also why many have rejected wearing make up. there are however, feminist arguments in favor of wearing make up and dressing in a feminine manner. Most of it is usually along the lines that it’s the woman’s choice and if she’s wearing it for herself then there’s nothing wrong with it. Also the other argument is women should embrace their feminine sides, because we live in a culture where anything considered feminine is viewed as inferior. Contrary to popular belief, feminism and femininity aren’t mutually exclusive.

Which brings me to my point for writing this post.

What about those women who don’t fit beauty standards? Feminist Theory recognizes that women who don’t fit are often treated with disdain. However, for some women, it’s more much complicated. African American women for example are viewed as being more masculine. A way for us to counter the stereotype is by embracing more feminine qualities. Though I have to question, who’s standards of femininity are we adopting? Is it our own defined femininity or someone else’s?

This is also true for the case of WOC being stay home mothers, for many WOC and low income women, being a stay at home mother and being provided for is viewed as a luxury. This view makes a lot of sense considering historically marginalized women had to work. For many white feminists however, this hasn’t been their experience.

Another example would be with Muslim women and their choice to wear the hijab. A lot of Western feminists believe it’s a form of oppression, but for many Muslim women, it’s a matter of choice and way for them to follow their religion. The hijab is also viewed as a form of empowerment Then there’s the issue of women entering into sex work, but that’s another topic for another time.

It’s a tough road ahead in eliminating oppression for all marginalized groups, there are no easy answers many self identified feminists are trying to work through the whole “the personal is political” issue. What’s oppressive to one woman, may not be oppressive to another.

Has the world gone mad?! Casual sex and the ‘hook up’ culture.

You’ve probably heard these terms before, casual sex and the ‘hook up’ culture. Though there seems to be a lot of confusion about this so-called ‘hook up’ culture.

Once again, I’m speaking from a Western perspective, though I’m hoping to hear from those of you who live outside the West about the changing sexual mores in your culture, if there are any.

The ‘hook up’ culture seems to be scaring a of people. The panic is more about the fact that to an outsider, it seems to have replaced “traditional” courtship and dating. All one has to do is a simple Google search and see many of the searches read “Is the hook up culture good for girls?” “Hook up culture are taking over college campuses!” These are just a couple of examples, but what exactly is the ‘hook up’ culture? My issue with this entire conversation surrounding it is no one has really taken the time out to define what it is. From what I’ve learned ‘hooking up’ can range from meeting with a friend to make out to engaging in sexual intercourse. It’s a very broad term. If you spent enough time reading articles dealing this with hooking up you would swear college students everywhere are just engaging in all kinds of drunken promiscuous sex. But in reality this isn’t the case for many college students.

Perhaps it’s the university I attended, most people were either in a relationship, married or about to get married. The ‘hook up’ culture was basically unheard of. Perhaps it varies from campus to campus, but to make it sound like this phenomenon has taking over dating and relationships is a ridiculous assertion and is nothing short of alarmist.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the criticism of hooking up. For some it can be emotionally damaging, but I feel it’s mostly on the part of the person who chose to engage in it. Especially if that person was looking for a long term relationship and was looking for it through hooking up. They discover it wasn’t a wise choice and they’re hurt. Yes that’s damaging, but quite honestly they have no one but themselves to blame. I guess I have a problem with those who condemn this culture all because of a mistake they made. However I won’t ignore the physical consequences of sex.

But just because one person was hurt by ‘hooking up’ doesn’t mean others will be. As far as the hook up culture appearing in high schools and middle schools, this is something that worries me. Due to the fact that most teens aren’t able to make informed decisions concerning sex and not only that, sex education is totally lacking in many public schools.

Then of course there’s the gender aspect (hey this is kind of a feminist blog). Once again, the reaction is interesting, there’s more emphasis on how it’s hurts women. There’s confusion about why women would want to participate in this culture. The assumption is these women suffer from low self esteem and are seeking validation through engaging in sex. Again, I won’t deny there are women who do this, but I think it’s ridiculous assume that every woman who ‘hooks up’ is. You’ll notice these conversations hardly ever point out that women may actually like engaging in casual sex. But we can’t point that out, because that would be admitting that women are actually capable of separating sex from love.

Casual sexual has in some ways, become a norm for some people. Though this could be chalked up the so-called Sexual Revolution that happened in America during the 1960′s. The reason why I say so-called is because all the Sexual Revolution did was bring sex out in the open.

Which is why I don’t understand the panic, it’s not like casual sex is something new.

So is it possible to have sex without any emotional attachment? Yes. I know critics will chalk this up to be people being “animalistc”. Whatever the case may be, I don’t think this is something that should cause for alarm, unless many people who are ‘hooking up’ and aren’t taking the necessary precautions to protect themselves. The world hasn’t gone mad, it’s just changing.

So what are your thoughts on casual sex? What are the sexual mores in your culture and are they changing? For those of you who feel casual sex is harmful, can you explain why and how?

Some links and sources for your viewing pleasure:
Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both
Casual Sex-and no emotional wreckage

Happy Independence Day!

Polyamory and Living Apart Together Relationships, Oh My!!!

After a month long hiatus I’ve decided to post again. After neglecting it, also as of June 17th (or 18th) Cultural Fascinations officially turned a year old!! Yaaaaay!!! Also this week, for the first time I’m going to focus on relationships and sex. So be on the lookout for that.

Anyways, there is a topic I wanted to explore and that’s different types of relationships. Specifically focusing on polyamory and Living Apart Together. I’m mostly seeing this in the Western world, however there’s a possibility that it’s occurring in developing nations as well. Recently New York state legalized gay marriage and it’s got me thinking about how we define relationships and marriage these days.

First I want to discuss polyamory.

What is polyamory you ask? Wikipedia seems to have an in depth definition of it:

Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Polyamory

Polyamory is also known as open marriages/relationships. I know what you’re probably thinking, how can anyone allow for their spouse to have sexual relations outside of their relationship? This reaction is quite understandable, after all, we live in a society where monogamy is the norm and often times, it’s viewed as the “correct” way to be in a relationship. I’ve met people who are polyamorous the reactions they get when telling they people, from what they tell me it’s usually met with mild shock or total disapproval.

What’s interesting to me is when the discussion of these types of relationships began to surface, the usual reactions were along the lines of “you may as well call it cheating” to “this society no longer has any values.” As far as it seems, people who are polyamorous is a minority though this hasn’t stopped anyone from panicking. Though this isn’t surprising, we also live in a society that’s deeply rooted in Judeo-Christian values.

The issue of gender:
Another reaction I noticed about polyamory is that it’s viewed as something that’s purely beneficial to men while women are just getting the short end of the stick, even though both parties mutually agreed to this type of relationship. It’s not viewed as something beneficial to women, because we’re raised in a society which has us believing that women are more naturally inclined to monogamy and can only have sex with the person they love.

Living Apart Together

Here’s another type of relationship that has developed. Living Apart Together aka (LAT). Where a married couple or two people in a relationship decide to live separately in their own homes, hence the name. LAT mostly gained popularity because many celebrities were practicing it, however in the United States, it’s a growing phenomenon. These types of relationships are also growing in the United Kingdom.

With LAT, one no longer has to live under the same roof to be considered a couple. Not as a controversial as polyamory but it still bothers many people. As it goes back to the idea that for two people to officially be a couple they must live under the same roof. People who are married who choose this arrangement perhaps get the most flack. In the United States at least, many people have this ideal view of married life. You get married, get a house in the suburbs with a two car garage with a backyard and all that. Is there anything wrong with this? No there isn’t. For many people, this type of marriage doesn’t suit them.
Not only that, the LAT lifestyle suits people who have demanding jobs and step families.

My thoughts on both these types of relationships, as far as polyamory goes, I don’t feel it’s right for me. Though, I will acknowledge that it works for some people and to me that’s okay. They seem to make it work, and I’m sure they have their share of problems just like monogamous relationships.

LAT on the other hand sounds like it would suit me very well. Just have to find someone who feels the same. What do you think of polyamory and LAT? Or any type of relationship that doesn’t fit the norm?

Women who hunt: An examination of gender roles

I’ve finally found something interesting to post about. That’s why I haven’t posted in a while, but I’m back now.

Anyways, as someone who is interested in Anthropology, I was reading through an old textbook and I was reading a chapter on economies and their modes of production. One particular section discussed the division of labor. What I found interesting about this is that it’s generally believed that men did the hunting while women stayed behind and took care of the home and nurtured children and gathered.

The term “Man the Hunter” and “Woman the Gatherer” model was adopted by many cultural anthropologists. However, this view is criticized as being a male interpretation. The Agta proves this view is not entirely accurate.

So who are the Agta?

The Agta are an ethnic group in the Philippines. They have a fascinating culture, because they view themselves as hunters an fishers.

The Agta consider themselves first and foremost hunters and fishers. Settlement clusters of dry season shades and wet season pole houses are placed near flowing fresh water, either along the coast or upriver, but usually near exploitable plant and animal resources. From extended family groups, Agta men, women, and children hunt, fish, cultivate crops, or collect food daily.

This paragraph specifically shows that both men and women hunted and gathered food. Contrary to popular belief with hunter-gatherer societies, men did the hunting while the women gathered. The Agta show this isn’t and hasn’t been universally true.

Agta women participate in a full range of daily subsistence and maintenance activities. They hunt, using dogs, knives, and bow and arrows; they kill a significant portion of the wild pig and deer. During 185 days of observation (55 trips) at Nanadukan, Cagayan, for example, teams of female hunters killed 22.2 percent of the prey with a 30.4 percent success rate. Mixed teams of men and women accounted for another 35.0 percent of all meat, with a 41 percent success rate. Women, both youth and adult, also fish. Women are especially noted for their skills in spearfishing, working in rough, deep waters as well as in shallow streams. Both men and women gather food, although the former favor honey collection, seldom joining women in securing mollusks from rivers or the ocean

More evidence to suggest that this is contrary to the Man Hunter/Woman Gatherer model. But are the Agta the only group of people where both men and women hunted and gathered? Absolutely not. Let’s look at the Aka, a tribe who lives in Africa.

What makes them interesting is the women are the ones who hunt while the men take care and nurse the young.

What’s fascinating about the Aka is that male and female roles are virtually interchangeable. While the women hunt, the men mind the children; while the men cook, the women decide where to set up the next camp. And vice versa: and it’s in this vice versa, says Hewlett, that the really important message lies. “There is a sexual division of labour in the Aka community – women, for example, are the primary caregivers,” he says. “But, and this is crucial, there’s a level of flexibility that’s virtually unknown in our society. Aka fathers will slip into roles usually occupied by mothers without a second thought and without, more importantly, any loss of status – there’s no stigma involved in the different jobs.”

As this paragraph points out, within the Aka tribe there’s a great deal of flexibility involved. The Aka is unusual because not only do fathers play an active role in child rearing, they also breastfeed!

While these are only two examples, it does show that gender roles haven’t always been strict. Yes gender roles existed throughout history and many in many cultures. But what many fail to realize is how gender roles were defined. In one culture, it may be normal for women to tend to the young and for the men hunt. But you also have cultures where it’s women who are the hunters and men gathered.

Learn more about the Aka and The Agta:Are Men o the Aka tribe the best fathers in the world?

Agta Forager Women in the Philippines

Book Review: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

I just finished reading Lisa See’s 2005 novel Snow Flower ad the Secret Fan.

The story takes place in 19th century China, two young girls named Lily and Snow Flower have become what is laotong or “old sames.” Before I go further into this review, I want to take the time to explain this concept, apparently it’s a sworn sisterhood and what’s unique about a laotong relationship is it’s supposed to be a much stronger bond than what they would have with their husbands. Laotong can also mean kindred spirits, and the two girls learn a secret language called Nu Shu, and they communicate with each other on a fan.

I’m fascinated by the whole concept of laotong, because there’s nothing like that within our culture. In a culture where women are only valued for how many sons they produce, a powerful friendship seems to be their only refuge in a world that treats like they’re worthless. Lily and Snow Flower both endure foot binding, while it’s a painful process, it’s their most valued feature. They both experience the joys of motherhood and the loss of children. There’s also subtle hints of rivalry and some jealousy. But I would say it was healthy competition and nothing malicious.

The story is told from the point of view of Lily, who is an old reflecting on her laotong. Though it would have been interesting to see the viewpoint of Snow Flower. Lily reflects on her status as a woman, even though she’s in a higher social standing, she still knows that she is powerless in the end. Lily (who at this point is Lady Lu) realizes her mistakes and learns forgiveness.

While this isn’t the type of novel I’d normally read, I did enjoy it. Mainly because I enjoy reading stories about women bonding and having strong friendships with each other.

On a final note, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is now a motion picture. I saw the trailer for it and it looks like it will be good. But they added a modern part to it.